Do I want to have kids?

That's an excellent question. Do I want to have kids?

THIS IS ENTIRELY PERSONAL, DO NOT TWIST MY WORDS AND MAKE IT SOMETHING THAT IS NOT.

This is quite a controversial topic in my country or maybe anywhere globally. Women must bear children. Now the "must" has shifted into many different forms, perhaps a "should" and perhaps a "can." I, personally, am still torn between "should" and "can."

Do I want to get married? Yes, absolutely. I know myself very well. Once I'm in love, I will somehow convince myself that getting married is the best way to express and show off my love to the world, even though I used to think that marriage was the slightest romantic gesture ever. To legalize your love? Oh please. But yeah, I want to get married to someone I love and love me.

But having children? Maybe I'll pass. Why? I'll tell you why.

It's the 21st century. Women now have control over the decision of having to reproduce or not. This is not the 1920s. We can go out to work and not stay home to fix our husband's meals and drinks and bear his kids while he is out drinking with his mates. This is the new world, we have the choice not to have children when we don't want to. Yes, I don't want kids. The end.

Trust me, I won't let you go without a fair fight. Here are another few reasons why.

Women are the most fertile during their mid to late-20s and that chance can be decreased in the mid-30s to about 10-15% and so on. So, that's why my mom and every other mom want their daughters to get married at 27 and have children right away. I can only speak for my country, guys but 30 is like a marital deadline for my Vietnamese ladies. But guess what? Your 20s should be the year you focus on yourself or your career, not spending it on another man and his damn family or ruining your body or mind while carrying a child in freaking 9 months long. 27 is also the year your brain is fully developed so why do you want to use it on what color to paint your nursery room or what type of dress you want to wear on your wedding day. Ladies, we have more purposes in this life than bearing children or becoming someone's wife. Don't let your potential be wasted.

Secondly, the career gap between men and women after having children is significant. It takes at least 18 years for women to recover fully financially while men only take a couple of years. Moreover, childcare responsibilities are unequal. Women spend more physical care on children than men ever do. I want to be treated as equal as men at work in life, and I will not tolerate it for children.

Moreover, many believe that having a child will make your life better. How? What guarantees that? Besides their first steps, their first words, those are joyous moments, but what about their first fight with you, their first detention, their first mistake in life? What about that? The expectation of having a child is different from the desire to have a child. If you truly desire to have a child without any expectation whatsoever, those cons won't matter, but things may turn sideways very fast if you have a child with lots of expectations. The world is already a cruel place, so please, do not bring a child into this world just to please your damn ego. Don't just fuck around, cum, and bring a soul into the world when you can't even afford to act like a human yourself.

There are so many injustice cases around the world about abusing children physically and mentally. It makes me think about this question every day? If you cannot treat a child properly, let someone do it. If you don't want to have a child, don't. What possibly can benefit a child when they are born unwanted?

I love my nieces, but I have thought about sterilization since I started living with them. I know, it's a bit much, but it doesn't need a woman's orgasm to bring a life into this world, but a man, and we have to carry that child for nine months. And what's next? Can't we just give them away like gifts or anything? I don't want that to happen while I'm still busy climbing my career ladder and chasing my dream. If I ever change my mind, I want my child to be loved by me, someone who wants him/her or whatever gender they will choose to be identified. If I ever change my mind, I want to have a child when I want to, not because society pressures me to.